Lilypie 3rd Birthday PicLilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker 贝比的天空: 与妈妈及全天下的女人分享:给自己的

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

与妈妈及全天下的女人分享:给自己的

一个台湾妈妈的心声:

昨天晚上
幫小的洗完澡
拿了客廳的被子跟抱枕套上樓洗
進了浴室
拿著上個月幫別的媽媽代製的母乳皂皂邊洗澡
(是ㄚ 每個人的皂我都會留一小塊自己洗
確保每塊皂都是我原本想的樣子)

一邊搓著柔細的泡沫
一邊想到
啊~~也該寫那塊皂了~
該怎麼開頭呢~~
就是
[給自己的皂]
自己想完這五個字
在前面三個字出現時嘴角有了笑容


好久沒有為自己做一件事情了~
每天早上從起床開始
早餐隨意吃
有時間弄搞剛一點
沒時間就隨便抓個東西吃
一切都要取決於蕎安姑娘這天心情

晚上睡覺的時候
我沒有辦法照著自己想要的姿勢
大的左邊拉著手
小的右邊喝著奶
等到大家都睡著
似乎我能好好休息了
我卻又想偷時間起來做些事情

到餐廳吃飯點餐
再也不是點自己喜愛的口味
都是想到
大的可以分食這個
小的應該會喜歡那個
我自己呢?
消失了~~

縱使狠下心來點了自己愛的
用餐的時候為了顧大顧小
好像也沒有以前愉快

穿衣服
要考慮到不能有金屬或是較奇怪的凸起花樣
抱小的的時候可能會刮傷她
手錶 項鍊 手鍊更是不用說
在我手上 現在連戒指也沒有了

我自己愛的呢?
以後再說~~

看著漸漸長大的兩小
以及快消失殆盡的自己
有點遺憾無奈
又有些甜蜜滿足
這種複雜的心情
我想 當全職媽媽的更能體會

我不是抱怨
只是 原來最近我又開始想找回自己

我跟戴門要回了消失四年多的洗衣權
自己愛洗衣服就洗衣服
洗被單就洗被單
以前不覺得的樂趣
現在 好開心
也不需要擔心
明明就很想洗衣服
又怕戴門上班回來太累
不敢開口
聞著香香有太陽味道的被單
好滿足
也很謝謝戴門
這四年來沒有怨言的幫忙

我想
這是一種過程
一種家庭升級的陣痛期
人必須要失去一些才能獲得一些
現在失去的
只是自由與自我
但獲得的
卻是彌足珍貴的兩個寶貝成長

我會更愛自己
不為別人
是為了自己

阅读感受:这是一个把自己的部落格经营得有声有色的台湾妈妈的文章,她有很好的文笔与细腻的心,可以把感情用文字刻画得很触动人心。当了妈妈以后才体会到那种艰辛和无奈,幸好,我从来就不是那种可以为了孩子家庭放弃自己的人,我懂得适当的爱自己,然后再分配适当的爱给老公、孩子、家人、朋友与同事。这样,才不会把自己给磨灭掉。女人不需要为了谁而活,先爱自己,才会有人爱你,也才会有能力爱别人。

15 comments:

FiSh said...

最喜欢你那句话,女人要懂得好好爱自己,这句话,一直以来是我的座右铭,女人,只有好好爱自己,才有资格要求别人也来好好爱自己;女人,只有好好爱自己,才不会受到伤害,才会活出精彩!

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